At this time I am going to write in English, just because it’s the only way that my mind can think right now. One of my most crazy obsessions is think, speak and write in English when the emotions are too bigger for me… And this is a special occasion…
“Someone”, in fact, my movie dealer, sent to me some .avi files by MSN, he told me that I must see this stop motion movie, but he always says this to me. At that time I couldn’t figure how important is “Mary and Max”, how I can feel as Mary and the amazing way he seems to Max.
It’s an australian movie, an australian incredible job. With the voices of Toni Collette and Phillip Seymour Hoffman, wonderful actress and actor, both are on my personal top ten of favourites, and written, directed and designed by Adam Elliot, magistral work of all them.
Well, I must say that I am like Mary, I want to save everything, find the reasons of all, I am always looking for the solutions of all kind of problems, and I am honest with you, I’ve not saved anyone yet and my mind is always thinking “why”. Now I know the answer, no one want’s to be saved, you love them or not, that’s all.
The next thing I must say seems to be incredible, almost for the entire world ... I met up with my own Max Jerry Horowitz, he does not live in New York, is not as hysterical, and no, he does not love chocolate so obsessively, but it is a Aspi and loves to be one of them. His obsession is the cinema, movies and all sorts of fun stuff. His heroes are the same as Max, I can not believe, but is true.
His name is Jerry, but in Spanish is called Gerar and I call him Aspergerar. Please don’t ask me why I loved him all these years, I dunno, it just happened. At this point I don’t love him, not at this time and I do not know if it will happen again, but I like my life with him beside me, really ...
He doesn’t have all the letters I've written on a wall, or a bottle with my tears ... I don’t care, because I know for sure that I am in his life every day, every moment ... I can not imagine where or how I am present in his mind, but I know I'm there, and it makes me happy.
I am sure that I didn’t save him from nothing, or maybe I did it… He saved me a lot of times in all ways you can imagine. He helped me to found my way, to be brave, to be free, to look me at the mirror and love me more than anyone, he opened my backpack and throw all the shit that I’ve been keeping for years… Thank you
I am sure that “the love thing” it’s not for him, but when we are together I feel protected, free, happy, valued and he makes me laugh. With him I begin to doubt about love, about all kind of “feelings” and “emotions”. He is like a mental earthquake to me, he moves everything, he tests me, push me and makes me a better person.
Yes, I know the “Aspies” won’t love you and I don’t wait that, for me it’s very easy now, I just want to be with him, chat with him and “another dirty things” together, or see some movies like this… Mary and Max… A & G
You know I am talking about you and now I understand more about you, about me
posted by Metropolitan Area Girl at 18:09
